


Aperantos

by judgehangman



Category: Makai Ouji: Devils and Realist
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 00:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6401248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/judgehangman/pseuds/judgehangman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aperantos: from Greek - unending, unfinished, unaccomplished.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aperantos

**Author's Note:**

> Because Dani forced me to write saying she'd only give me the Dantaliam goodies from the new ch if I managed to get to 1k words. Well, you didn't specify it couldn't be angsty uwu
> 
> Just like... very mild reference to homophobic hate crime? And Dantalion has one very tiny self-destructive urge but doesn't actually realises it?
> 
> Honestly, what else were you expecting from me???

Lumber cracked in the fireplace and he stared into the flames like they could help him understand his own thoughts. There were things he wanted to say on the tip of his tongue, but they dissolved in the heat of the room, their meaning lost in a huffed breath. He tried once again, breath wavering, but the words seemed to flee from his mind as soon as he tried to put them into a sentence. With the corner of his eye he could see William sat on the bed, his legs crossed, a thick book propped on his knee. As much as the boy pretended to read it, Dantalion knew he hadn’t turned a page for the past thirty minutes.

It was strange, being alone with William. In the silence, he could almost hear his own heart pounding, and, without distractions, Dantalion couldn’t help but acknowledge the invisible cord that bound him to Solomon. He wondered if William felt it too, golden words laced together like they hadn’t been born from sin: urging him to command, urging Dantalion to obey. He wondered if William knew, heard it in the words he’d never said, words that always somehow got stuck in his throat even though saying them to Solomon had been easy as breaking for him.

Realistically, Dantalion knew he wasn’t allowed to feel those things for him. There was an imminent war above their heads, Heaven and Hell in a standstill, holding their breaths as they waited for the other side to make the first move. He was almost all too aware of the ticking clock, a constant reminder of his responsibilities. It didn’t matter how long he stayed in the human world, sitting in shared silence with William, hellfire would always pulse through his veins.

He shot William a glance, maybe to remind himself of the other reasons he wasn’t supposed to feel that way. He found them in how there still was a childish roundness to William’s face, even with the sharp edges of his jawline, in the way the bruises looked almost black on his pale skin. He looked away.

Eyes fixed on the fireplace, an urgent thought crept into his head. He wanted to stand up and put his hand through the flames, if only to make sense of himself. He knew they would feel cool on his skin, or avoid his hand altogether, but the intrusive thought was too strong. He wanted it to hurt, wanted the fire to consume his emotions and turn them to ashes, wanted to stop feeling so angry and so sad and so _lost_. It was only William’s voice, calling his name in an almost disapproving tone, that made him snap out of it. Even so, he took the cup resting on the floor next to him and curled his fingers around the warm porcelain, its heat not enough to actually hurt his palm the way he wanted it to, and took a sip of the hot chocolate. It scalded down his throat with a sweet ache that cleared his head, grounding him back into a reality that threatened to slip away.

“Dant—“

“I have to go soon.”

“I know.” That was everything William said in return, his expression indecipherable. He fidgeted with Solomon’s ring, twisting the necklace chain, watching Dantalion with an intense look, as if he was about to say something else. He didn’t, however— he only looked back at his book with his cheeks tinted pink.

The page remained unturned. Dantalion would’ve smiled at that if the ticking clock wasn’t starting to make him feel anxious. Leaving was always difficult. Knowing that he might not return the next night was always difficult. Somehow, he found himself praying—to Lucifer, to Adonai, to his old gods… he wasn’t sure—that Heaven and Hell would remain in that momentary truce. That he could have more time with William. That he could have a _lifetime_ with William, even if that meant the heartbreak of seeing William die. He could accept that, embrace it even, if that meant he could spend the rest of William’s short life in his company. Even if no one else could know that.

“It isn’t polite to stare”, William reprimanded. “So stop.”

Dantalion smiled, a warm feeling spreading through his body. “I’m sorry. You look very handsome in this light.”

William bit his lip, cheeks flushed red. Even so, after a shaky breath, it was with a teasing smile that he asked Dantalion: “In this light, only?”

“And in every other light.”

His low, raspy voice made William’s heart race. He looked back at the book, aggressively ignoring the smug smile on Dantalion’s lips. Once again, he didn’t turn the page. Dantalion chuckled.

“Oh, shut up!”

“I didn’t even say anything!”

William huffed, angrily. “But you were thinking something embarrassing.”

“Something embarrassing? Like what?” His smile widened, in malicious amusement. “Like how you’ve been staring at the page for almost forty minutes because you were too distracted by my presence?”

“It isn’t like that”, William said and, giving Dantalion a pointed look, turned the page, still blushing.

Dantalion snorted, but didn’t insist, putting the cup back on the floor with a pleased smile. There was still an anxious feeling in his chest, and his throat tightened the moment he looked away from William, but the air around them didn’t seem as heavy. He stared at the fireplace, watching the flames swirl in an almost hypnotic way. A thought crossed his head.

“Do you remember what you asked me?”

William’s hand hesitated on the corner of the page. “When?”

“The other night. Before…”

“I do.”

Dantalion turned to look at him. William’s expression was solemn, his chin tilted up just slightly in childish defiance. As if daring Dantalion to call out the bluff. But Dantalion wouldn’t dare mock William’s fears, wouldn’t dare shame him for a vulnerable request. He was as scared for William’s safety as William was. It took all of his self-control not to kill the humans who had hurt him.

_I don’t care how bad it is, I don’t want to—_

“Why did you ask me to do that?”

William sighed, putting his book aside.

“Because I wanted to be sure.”

The demon tilted his head, confused. William looked away, heart beating rapidly in his chest. That was too much. He put his face into his hands and let out a quivering breath. Dantalion waited, patiently, for him to regain his composure, but didn’t pressure him into replying. William looked back up, frowning, self-doubt clear in his eyes.

“You know why I can’t—“

He winced at his voice cracking, but Dantalion’s look was still intense, his eyes dark in the low light.

“Don’t—don’t look at me like that. It’s not my fault that I—”

“I am not accusing you of anything.”

“I know. I _know._ But it feels like the rest of the world is.” He laughed, humourlessly. “Not that they have any _actual_ proof of… of… _you know._ ”

Dantalion nodded. William skirted around the subject like the words themselves were forbidden, like the mere thought made him afraid. And Dantalion understood him perfectly. He stood up and walked towards him in slow steps, his expression as pained as William’s own.

“I wish I could do something, anything, to make it better. But, alas, there is nothing I can do to make humans less prejudiced.”

He leaned over William and pressed their foreheads together. William’s breathing shook as Dantalion touched the dark bruises with his knuckles and wiped away the tears. He wanted so much to cling to the demon, to bury his head on his chest and let out his sadness and fear. He put his hands over Dantalion’s own.

“I—I asked you to kiss me because I thought t-that maybe I was wrong. That I was just—just curious. Confused. That maybe, once you did, this feeling would go away.” William let out a watery, bitter laugh. “But I’m not that lucky.”

The clock ticked midnight and William shut his eyes tightly, a sob escaping through his lips. Dantalion didn’t move, even as he knew he was already late.

“Stay with me, please.” William asked, like he’d asked every night, his voice barely a whisper.

“William…”

He couldn’t afford that moment with William, couldn’t afford being in love with a mortal yet again, couldn’t afford trying to fight a lost battle. But William’s very soul begged him to stay and how could Dantalion leave if he was suffering?

“I’m not going anywhere”, he promised, and pulled William closer to him, and as much as hearing William’s cries hurt, he did not cry with him.


End file.
